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“Enough of” Sibling Rivalry

 

    

“This is mine…mine…mine…!!!”  ; 

“Me first, I want to be number one…” ;

“I don’t like you, go away!” 

 

The starts of this “sister rivalry” began when my 2^nd niece born. It continues as they grow and both seeking for attention and fighting over the same toys. In particularly, the 2^nd niece always picking the same toy that my 1^st niece chosen.

It is indeed stressful and frustrating to see this routine sibling rivalry occurred in the household. How to put an end to this? This may be easier said than done as it is common for each household to give more attention to one child than the others.

 

 Below are some tips and advices we have tries in dealing with sibling rivalry.

 1. Understand the reasons for the rivalry.

Jealousy? Competition? Unfair treatment from adults? You need to find the “right medicine to cure the disease”.

Firstly, ask yourself honestly if you are the caused of the problem due to the unfair treatment to each child? Then, decide how to change what you are doing so both children feel special.

Secondly, we have to recognize that each child has their own growth changing needs, anxieties, personalities and individual temperaments. Thus, parents need to use different methods to treat each child differently.

  

2. Do:  

• Put in lots of patience when handling sibling rivalry. You cannot expect to overcome this overnight.
• Spend quality time with each child individually. This allows them to know that they are not in competition with each other and also create a special bond with each child. Example: Allow your child to setup a solo date with you to participate in certain activity.
• Separate the kids until they are calm. Listen to both sides of the story and involves all child in the issues discussion. Make them listen to their siblings’ side of the story, take turn to speak and share their own opinion and feelings.
• Reward your children when they work well together and encourage them to respect and appreciate each other accompany.
• Set ground rules for acceptable behavior. Clearly explain to the kids that there is no cursing, no name-calling, no door slamming, no body attacking and no yelling. Set up consequences when they break them. If both fighting for the same toys, setup a schedule showing which child “owns” that item for that particular days. If they keep fighting about it, take the “prize” away altogether.  

 

3. Don’t:

• Do not compare you children. This will make your children the other child is better than they are. Each child in the family should be given his own levels of expectation that relate only to him (the individual uniqueness).
• Do not put too much focus on figuring out which child is to blame. Remember, it takes two to fight and anyone who is involved is partly responsible.
• Don’t treat them equally; treat them uniquely and according to their needs. Help them to discover and develop their unique talents and strengths. Make them understand that each different needs at different time.
• Don’t be bad role models. Your children will observe their parents behavior and react accordingly. Example: If your children see you routinely shout, slam doors, and loudly argue when addressing problems, this increase the chances that they will adopt those tactics when they run into problems with one another.
• Don’t used negative messages, labeling and nicknames. Example: Fatty, Ugly, Stupid. This will lower their self-esteem and wouldn’t resolve the problems.

 

What is your opinion on this? Do you have any great suggestion and tips to share with? Thanks for your comments. 

Drinking water can hurt babies under 6 months

 

I have seen many parents giving water for their babies to drink besides the milk intake. It is also a normal advice from our parent and grandparent generation that babies should drink more water. However, after read the following articles then only realized water can hurt babies under 6 months.

 

The articles clearly stated that babies younger than 6 months old may put at risk for water intoxication and potentially life-threatening condition if consume too much water.

 

Further information may refer to the links belows:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24760916/from/ET/

http://www.parenttime.com/babytips/babydrinkingwater.html

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/175467/should_a_baby_drink_water.html